KRISTAMUNDA: What shall I do? What shall I do? Shall I eat the second nectarine that I see before me, the reddest part turned toward my hand? (deep sigh)

JENIZALDA: Oh, do not so, sister dear! Let not the juice of woe stain thy pearly lip, nor yet the sticky effluvium of yonder ruddy orb besmirch your pale white hand! Take up instead the nectarine of joy, that which lieth immediately to the left of the fruit upon which you now gaze so pensively.

KRISTAMUNDA: The first nectarine, or the second? Indeed, the riddle doth puzzle me sore. Both are rotund, swollen with their fruity juices; each one bears a ruddy cheek, beguiling both in scent and curvature...

SUZANNETTA: Forsooth! Though not clad in velvet like unto yon dapper peach, withal the nectarine is still a handsome fellow.

JENIZALDA: You speak truth, my sister! And indeed, the glistening garnet orbs of his companion grapes intrigue me also.

KRISTAMUNDA: But the seeds, the seeds! For so the seeds of life doth wedge themselves between the teeth of experience, causing the gums of regret to bleed painful tears of grape-flavored remorse.

JENIZALDA & SUZANNETTA: Alas! Then let us cast aside all fruit!

KRISTAMUNDA: (weeping and laughing tragically) Indeed, we must! Let us pelt Gurt, the stableboy, from yonder window. (together they fling the rejected fruit; a distant cry is heard.)

NOTE: This bit of pseudo-Shakespeare was inspired by an e-mail that my sister Kristin sent me, in which she was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her evening. It included the first line, (spoken here by Kristamunda) and the rest is history. :)

ADDITIONAL NOTE: Suzanne is our other sister's name.